Some people (and even pieces of art) are vexations. This is a theme that keeps hitting me lately. It isn’t that someone is screaming at you, or cursing at you, or threatening you– that is a kind of vexation that is so obvious and over the top as to miss you altogether.
I’m talking about subtly unsupportive, “friends.” If you are seeing this, then you can know that I am not talking about you, because I blocked the person I am talking about.
I told this person over and over over the last year that I didn’t care for this.
When people like this “support” you–mentally, emotionally, and even “spiritually,” they give you a compliment they feel obligated to give, or they say something for manipulation purposes.
How amazingly revealing the written word can be. You can see a person’s heart, their motivations, even their tone of voice if they are a good enough writer, or if you talk with them long enough.
Over especially the last year, every time I had an insight, this “friend” would come with one-upmanship. Not just a correction or an improvement or an insight or even a good argument, or an interesting point, (all of which I appreciate) but a “better than you.”
This person had expertise in one field, but seems to have thought that that expertise transferred to every subject, even if he was outmatched by formal education and four decades of study. C.S. Lewis called that, “Bulverism.”
I got tired of having to mentally and emotionally process irritations that profited me nothing and, it seems, profited him nothing.